@Debbie - So true… Sometimes the simplest things can create such a deep bond with our children. It’s all about finding ways to connect and even cooking together can create that bond.

@Karla - Thanks Karla. Recently I started filing papers next to my boys while they watch T.V.

@Cherrie - True sometimes a good old fashioned conversation is the best route to take.

Blessings ♥,
Eren

I find just being with them without an agenda offers the most potential for bonding.

One thing I want to share, and it closely relates to what you stated about praising your child for who they are, is when I was younger, my parents always told me that they were proud of me.

I heard it a lot. And it presented a great sense of validation for me that if my parents are proud of me then that’s made me feel loved.

Til this day I’ll always remember that so that piece of advice especially resonates with me. Thanks for sharing!

Great post!

Jarrod

@Mary - Yes those are priceless. My mom gave us the most awesome family memories. I remember waking up Easter morning with a stuffed white bunny and a basket filled with Easter goodies. Then we went egg hunting in the yard – so awesome.
By the way, I found a cool site for cooking with kids that might be a great resources for you and your granddaughters.
It’s called Spatulatta (a bunch of video recipes):
http://www.spatulatta.com/

Blessings ♥,
Eren

What a great post. My kids are adults now with kids of their own, but we had great times when they were little. One of my favorite pictures that we have, is while we were camping, of my husband, our son, 13 and daughter 12, sitting around the picnic table while our new lab puppy is sleeping under the table and my husband is reading Hoyle’s Book of Rules on how to play Canasta. The kids look absolutely exasperated but we all laugh about that to this day.

We spent a lot of time with our kids doing “family” things and always tried to have dinner together as a family every night.

I now try to spend as much time with my 2 little granddaughters as possible. My favorite time is cooking and baking with them.

@James – Thank you my friend. Glad you enjoyed this post.

@Hugh - Thanks so much for sharing what worked with your family- very insightful. Being present and in the moment is something that children and even adults can sense. When we’re not present the feeling of truly not caring is immediately perceived.
One thing that also helps me stay present is picking to do something that actually interests me a lot. Also writing a list of those things on a small piece of paper helps keep family time really fun.
One more things I do is “google” up jokes and share them at family time. Those funny jokes make family time the best time ever.
Thanks for all your comments.
Blessings always ♥,
Eren

I just discovered your terrific blog and I really identified with this post.

I just spent four months traveling with my wife and four children.

One of the most important things that I discovered on this journey was to take a few moments out of each day and spend that time totally focused on each of my children.

Once I started doing this my relationship with each of my children improved significantly (though I had always thought it was good before).

It didn’t matter what we did together. In fact, sometimes it was better to just do nothing. It didn’t matter what we talked about, either. Usually it was whatever they were doing just before the conversation. But the subject was irrelevant.

What I saw in those moments was what mattered. It was the look on their face once they realized that I was actually listening to what they said. I may have had zero interest in their Pokemon cards or whatever, but that didn’t matter. I cared about Them, so I listened with concentrated focus to them, and they bloomed in front of my eyes.

I believe that everything thrives when we pay attention to it. But this is never more important than with our children.

So I try to keep things simple. Remember what really matters to you. And make sure that you spend a bit of time each day totally focused on them. Enter their personal space (with permission, of course) and show them that you respect them as real human beings. Show them that what they think and care about actually matters.

This really works!

Your blog is terrific! And thanks for the opportunity to comment!

All the best,

Hugh

Great post and thanks for sharing your thoughts to me and all. Keep up your good work and I am sure God will give your much more abundance to you and also your family

@Sire - Yes life is very busy and there are so many responsibilities and problems to solve. One of the things that helps get me focused when I want to spend alone time with my boys is I write a list of things that I believe we would like to do together. That way it keeps us both interested. It also helps me to never wonder what to do next or get bored. ( I just look at the list. )
I also sometimes write down topics to talk about with them. Works really great. Tonight I just sang to them before going to sleep

@Ching Ya - Thank you so much for sharing your touching story. I love helping other people express their feelings and demonstrate their love as this is what is needed in this world. There is a saying that goes something like this: Someone you love may be starving for a compliment. I take that to heart and always make sure that the people that I love know that I love them. I don’t ever want to look back in my life and say: “I should have shown love more often.”

@Girish – We also had Sunday meals with the entire family here in Brazil. Every Sunday my ginormous family got together. It was awesome and created such a close bond between us all. I miss those. Now I eat lunch with my parents every Sunday. Every one of those moments are treasures as you said.

@BK – Yes. Taking the time to stop and enter into their conversation is one thing that I always do. Sometimes it’s not easy as I’m not really into Bakugan and all those boy things LOL. But I try to find something interesting about it so that they can feel somewhat of an excitement when they talk to me about what they enjoy. We enjoy music together as we have very much the same taste so that’s good common ground.

@Rich – Your mentor is right on. Being fully present may take us some emotional preparation but it is worth it. As you said, focusing on them is one of the best things to do. It helps build their self esteem.

@Maria – Yes quality time makes all the difference in the world for our children. The one thing that I’m excited about is planning an ice cream party for the boys. They totally love ice cream so it’ll be so much fun.

Thank you all for your tweets, stumbles and support in general. Always appreciated.
Blessings my friends ♥,
Eren

I definitely agree that Quality time is one of the best gifts you can give someone.

Indeed, when our priority is to support the highest good of our children, then we would be naturally loving and kind to them too. They in term will feel the love.

In our fast pace life where most people are busy working, they have forgotten to stop and talk with their children. And you couldn’t be more right that conversation with children is very important. When we listen deeply to them, we are not only connected to them, we also created the support and trust.

To show my gratitude for this lovely message, I’m going to stumble, bookmark & RT for you. ^^ Like how you’ve always been supportive to me too. Bless you, Eren!

@wchingya
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