@Cherrie – When thinking of you the last word I would think of is shallow. You are sensitive- I am too and that’s ok. A friend of mine told me it’s because I’m female… hee hee. Actually I believe men suffer more emotionally because they are taught that they shouldn’t cry. I teach my boys that it’s okay to cry but to always find something positive to think of or do after crying so they don’t feel empty but rather released.

@Debbie – Excellent point of not feeling disconnects us from our bodies – so very very true. A lot of physical illness starts with the emotional aspect.

@Roy – Yes that’s what I tell my sons …

Blessings ♥,
Eren

This is especially true for males, but I for one had a wonderful and wise father that taught me that it’s okay to cry, it’s just not okay to whine, LOL.

Real men cry!

Especially the “less desirable” ones. And I really think that not feeling, disconnects us from our bodies.

Allowing to feel our emotions fully (in an appropriate, safe place) really allows us to feel more whole.

@Roy – Yes crying is essential because it’s part of the way we were created.

@Katie – All those feelings you had inside of you needed to come out. Since you hadn’t talked about this issue to where it had come out, it remained inside of you for quite some time.
There is no need to apologize for crying. Jesus cried and he didn’t apologize for crying.
It may have felt embarrassing to you to be vulnerable publicly but I can assure you that many people were helped by your openness. We sometimes want to hide our feelings thinking it would be shameful but when we open ourselves up we help ourselves and help others. For example, I recently wrote a post about how even though I’m 32 years old I still love Barbies and Strawberry Shortcake (hee hee). Because I wrote that post I had several people emailing me telling me that they also love Barbie and that the post really touched them.
So the point is that it’s good for you to talk out, write out and cry out what needs to be let out of you. Make this a practice in your life and you will see that you’ll be much happier and able to deal with your friend’s problems more.

Blessings to all of you ♥,
Eren

There is no need to apologize for crying in your situation. In fact, there is never a need to apologize for crying any more than you need to apologize for being human. The End!

@Chris – I know what you mean when you talk about the “numb state”. I’ve been in that state before but I’ve been able to get out of it. One of the biggest things that helped me get out of it were mature people that surrounded me and helped me through those moments. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness- it’s a sign of maturity. You need to ask others to help you. You’ve probably heard this before, but people that are trained ( professional counselors) can actually understand where you are at so that they can help you get the right perspective on things.
It’s important to cry but then after you let it out make the decision to think and do happy things. Things that bring you some kind of joy. If this second step is ignored you might just get “stuck” in the crying state.
Happiness is a decision. Once we let out the sad emotions we need to run after the good. Make a list of things that brought you happiness once and start to incorporate them into your life. You will start to discover the joy little by little.
Here are a few posts that might help you out:
How to stay at peace while being more productive
Why goal setting is important.

@Jim – I’m sorry to hear about all of the emotional pain you went through with the divorce. I’m sure your sister was also going through it but her way of showing it was not through crying. Thank you for sharing your childhood experience.
I completely agree with you that crying is a healthy emotion. I’m glad that you have allowed yourself to cry in front of your children. That is a truly wonderful example for them to follow.
The secret for crying to be a positive thing is for us to think of good and positive things after we cry. To focus on our goals and dreams.
Blessings my friends ♥,
Eren

To this day I am still an emotional type person I guess you could say. I mean I don’t cry all the time, but when I see something that touches my heart it can make me cry. I will say I have cried in front of my kids. I don’t remember the circumstances, but I have and I think its ok. I think it shows them that it is ok to cry. They were I have to say very emotional and trying to help me when I did cry in front of them.

Anyways I think crying is a healthy normal emotion that needs to be let out from time to time.

Hi Janis,
I look all pufffy and red too! As long as no one takes pics of me when I’m bawling I’m good. LOL

Blessings always ♥,
Eren

Once again you have spoken well about an important subject. Thank you for addressing this important release. Having taken two support classes after my husband died, I came to realize that crying is so important in the weeks and months after. In fact, it is thought of as a “catharsis.” In the class there was much crying and, after it all, I feel it was a very beneficial time of expressing our true feelings, getting in touch with reality, and bonding with those going through the same thing.
What a gift you have, Eren. Keep up your gracious ministry.
Love in Christ,
Ruth

@Roy - You bring up a point that I hadn’t really even thought of from that perspective. It’s very true that abusers have not gone through emotional healing and therefore end up hurting others. They bottled up the emotions and then let it out through being hurtful. Which is very unfortunate and unfair for the victims. But each person is accountable for the path that they will take…

@Kristi - It’s a wonderful thing to hear about your spiritual growth in learning how to deal with your emotions. Its such a blessing to have a husband that connects and allows you to be yourself. Finding someone like that is definitely key in helping you to grow and discover what brings you joy. The world needs more balanced, joyful, and caring people like you

@Danny - You just gave me an idea . I think I might go have some words printed on a T- shirt- “It’s OK to cry” and wear it around the mall – LOL. Seriously we need to stop this idea that “Men don’t cry”. It’s not good for society.

@Ari - Never thought of crying as exercise for the eyes but I guess it is . I’ll have to go see the end of that movie when I want to bawl – hee hee.

@Tamal – Thanks for the kind words Tamal. I used to cry very little but the many deaths of close loved ones opened up a river of tears in my life. That’s why I wrote this post. I have experienced deep suffering and before going through it, I never understood what now I do. The pain has changed me. It has made me grow.

@Sire - It’s a big release. The movie that illustrates this truth very well is “Closing the Ring”. It’s such a beautiful movie. You should watch it sometime. Here’s a wikipedia page on it:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Closing_the_Ring

@Girish - I’m certain that you are able to achieve your goals. One truth that certainly helped me in understanding how to achieve my goals is to work through it. If I am happy: take action, if I am sad: take action, if I am mad: take action. So many times the emotional roller coaster ends up stopping us from taking action. And taking action is what will lead us to achieve our goals. One step at a time and we can get there for sure. Only stop to recover our strength and keep moving ahead. That is my motto.

Blessings my friends ♥,
Eren

@Sire, what happened with me, totally contradicts what happened with you. I think I am crying more now than when I was a kid.

Strangely catching up with the pace of life today, I am getting lost totally. But I have never cried explicitly. Emotions rush when I am aloof and think about the uncertain future and the quest for accomplishing my goals. The quest for wealth, quest for fame and quest to live definitely needs laughter as well as crying.

Eren, thanks for highlighting this emotion of human beings. I have more reasons now

I don’t think that I can remember the release one would get from a good cry, but I think there is still time for me to find out.

I believe when you sit alone and cry, you hear nothing and no thoughts in your mind.. that’s a great time to pray and give thanks to GOD for what you have now.

If I want to cry, I pop in the end of the film, “Armageddon” when Bruce Willis says goodbye to Liv Tyler. Niagara Falls every time.

The power of a “good cry” on a consistent basis is something that many people have yet to experience for one reason or another much less even personally know a person who does.

All through my childhood my parents used to share with me that it was okay to cry but it was not okay to engage in an “unhealthy cry” which meant I couldn’t whine, throw a fit, scream, or the like. They taught me the value of a “good cry” or a “healthy cry” which is something I now know is rare for parents to have taught their kids among my peers.

Crying is the best stress reliever that I know of. Crying is the best way to prevent rage and abuse that I know of.

No wonder there is so much spousal abuse, child abuse and elder abuse in our society.

If these “abusers” would only have been taught the power of and engaged in a “good healthy cry” on a consistent basis then there would be so much less (if any) rage within their spirit and the abuse of others would more than likely be nonexistent.

Whoever believes that crying is a sign of weakness believes wrongly and whoever believes that real men cry believes rightly.

Eren, what a great topic you wrote about here and I feel how deep you reached inside your spirit to write what you did.

This blog post about crying NEEDS to be retweeted a LOT, so if you’re reading this, please retweet it. You just may save someone’s life if you do.

Your Friend,

Roy Montero

Just as water spills out from a vessel when it can no longer be contained, so tears brim up when the intensity of the moment is too much to handle.

Even tears of joy are too often quickly wiped away.
Recent death in the family has brought many tears to my eyes. Not only in sadness, but in the happy memories too.

thanks for sharing Eren.